PART ONE
Love doesn’t live here
His mouth touched mine. I felt his lips: soft, wet, pulsating against mine. His breath sent shivers down my neck as his tongue glided effortlessly up toward my bottom lip. Our eyes, closed. My breath was long and hard- I lifted my arm and wrapped it around his neck as the palm of my hand found its place hugging his nape. Panting heavily, we opened our mouths and felt each other’s emanating heat.
He kissed my mouth. His breath: hot. He made my body quiver. My head dropped back as his tongue traced its way along the contours of my body. He kissed me, and as he did so my body convulsed. Arched, trembling and sweltering, my body felt the radiation that seeped from his touch. I danced with him as his tongue outlined every inch of my skin. My body moved with his in synchronization impossible to feign. He possessed me. He possessed me with a pulsing heat that made my body soak.
I opened my eyes and saw him staring back at me. His gaze locked me into his power as our connection lifted us up, up, up and away. My heart burnt open as my dream fleshed out.
My eyes bled.
His love for me is marked by a tumultuous intensity surpassed only by my dream. If it were shared by us both it would consume our lives and thrust us into a world that would exist only for us; a world that would exist a thousand feet above the clouds. He wanted to take me there, but I don’t feel his love in my heart. I don’t feel this love he describes. I share my life with a love that lives behind my eyes; a love that will never cease, a love that I choose and a love that can’t die. I share my love with a man who exists only to me and solely for me.
The man in my life died that morning. The cause: love. As I opened my eyes the sound of rain consumed me. He lay there. He had stopped breathing.
I allowed myself to slip back into a gentle daze. I closed my eyes and was immediately devoured- he was waiting for me as he always is. Our love was unconditional. I wish to never wake. My life here is eternal; our love persists everlastingly. I want to remain in this mundane state so as to live in my mind, that is where my true love reigns.
Every morning when dawn breaks my eyes well up with the tears that make my heart cry.
Why must I wake when I have chosen my destiny?
PART TWO
Dreams don’t lie
The morning poured its way into our room lending itself to the corner of the bed, now bright and sunlit. My hand lay spread open across his chest. It left a print upon his heart. I awoke stiffed-neck; I had lain propped in his nook, resting my ear to listen to the beat that pulsed through us both. I opened my eyes and looked up at my lover. He lay there, resting and quiet, still asleep. As I stretched my body with a gentle morning sigh, my lips parted and leaned over to kiss his mouth. I drew my left arm out from under the blanket and set it softly to join the other on his chest. I lifted my body to spread across his. Clasped at the hand, I interlaced my fingers and made a groove where my chin fit so I would be face to face with my lover. Eyes open, I gazed into the world we created. Without awakening, he held up his right arm and slid his fingers up along mine. When he traced his way to my shoulder he allowed his fingers to move drawing the figure eight along the centre of my back. He caressed my bare skin with desire and persuasion. As his touch turned passionate, the heat in my body arose. My pores tingled and slowly began to emit that smell that he cannot resist. My head threw back. His arms contouring the shape of my body, he placed my body under his and he kissed my neck. He traced his lips smoothly behind my ear, exhaling ever so slightly as he made it to the small spot under my earlobe. His touch grew increasingly passionate as his hands uncontrollably lifted up me from the small of my back. He propelled me into the air and tucked our bodies away under the blanket. His breath expedited to a ravaging pace. He no longer fancied flirtatious tickling. He no longer wanted to play a game of coquettish arousal. It was time. He wanted me. He wanted all of me. He wanted to feel me. He needed to feel me. He had to feel me feel him as though I belonged to him. He slipped himself inside of me.
I slept undisturbed that night. I drifted through a quiet sleep and floated up, up, up and away into the kingdom of dreams. I met him there. That is where it all began, in a land of wonderment and marvel. We met and with one simple touch we fell in love.
As the morning light poured its way into my bedroom that morning, I awoke. I awoke from a far away place that left my body wet and overheated. I awoke ever so gently and as I swept away the tears that formed in the corner of my eyes I swept away the tears that broke my dream.
I have only dreamt of love- only existing in my oneiric world. The love that is expelled into the united few has not touched my waking life. Behind closed eyes I felt those gripping hands that forced my body to surrender to a power that possessed me entirely. Unbeknownst to my conscious state, I met him only in my sleep, and so it went that I dreamed to never wake.
A romanticized love, a sensation of magnanimous proportion, a feeling not attainable in the waking world. He existed only to me. He existed solely for me. But he existed in another world.
I set a stage for us where love can’t die; a stage that lives only to harness our love. The music created from the pulse of our hearts and the depth of our breath plays perpetually as a soundtrack to our unending lovemaking. Eternity is the only measure of time in which our love bloomed and so it would be that it would never wither. Forever is a measure the waking world cannot offer.
I slipped into my warm bed and lay my head on my pillow. I meditated into a state of heightened slumber. As I drifted off, I saw him, waiting for me to return. He reached out for me. We locked in an embrace; our bodies held each other tightly. Bound by tenderness, our bodies melded together disregarding the corporeal we were elevated toward the ethereal. His touch kept me breathing. The sensation kept me alive.
I tilted my head as I stared at his face, my body positioned in reflection of his. I listened to our heart’s beat; I felt our breath’s heat.
He lay next to me as the morning rain hit my windowpane. I opened my eyes and there he was. Next to me. A perilous feeling resounded and shattered our dreamlike connection- it violently raced through me as I lost the ability to touch his body. My fingers swept slowly across his navel but this time I did not feel the energy that forever qualified our inseparability. Instead, I could only feel his physical body at the tips of each one of my fingers. I felt his skin brushing against my hand with every stroke. I felt the cold that divided us.
The beat of my heart syncopated; I braved to look into his eyes, but my gaze was not met. He was not the man of my dreams he was just the love of my life.
I inhaled my last waking breath, I have chosen my fate.
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